negative Thinking

Here are 10 ways  to

to Overcome Negative Thoughts           

1. Meditate or do yoga.

2. Smile.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.

5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.

6. Help someone.

7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.

8. Sing.

9. List five things that you are grateful for right now.

10. Read positive quotes.

 REMEMBER.....

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Happy positive thinking!                                                  

BENGHAZI

Christopher Stevens, Sean Smith,Tyrone Woods, Glen Doherty...The incompetence and irresponsibility at Benghazi turns out to be even worse than everyone in Washington thought it was. A bipartisan Senate  intelligence committee found the murder of the American ambassador, and three other Americans were preventable, and the explanations the White House  first gave for the debacle were lies. Hillary for president in 2016?      I THINK NOT!!

BASIC TRUTHS

Below are some Basic Truths often forgot ---
1.   It doesn’t matter if you have a genius IQ and a PhD in Quantum Physics, you can’t change anything or make any sort of real-world progress without taking action.  There’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it.  Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.  It’s as simple as that. 

2.   Trying to be perfect is a waste of time and energy.  Perfection is an illusion.

All people, even our idols, are multidimensional.  Powerful business men, polished musicians, bestselling authors, and even our own parents all have dimensions of success and dimensions of failure present in their lives.

Our successful dimensions usually encompass the things we spend the most time doing.  We are successful in these dimensions because of our prolonged commitment to them.  This is the part of our lives we want others to see – the successful part that holds our life’s work.  It’s the notion of putting our best foot forward.  It’s the public persona we envision as our personal legacy

3.  Mistakes teach you important lessons.  Every time you make one, you’re one step closer to your goal.  The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.

So don’t hesitate – don’t doubt yourself.  In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Most of the time you just have to go for it!

And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.  Remember, if you never act, you will never know for sure, and you will be left standing in the same spot forever.

4.  Quite often, the problems we have with others – our spouse, parents, siblings, etc. – don’t really have much to do with them at all.  Because many of the problems we think we have with them we subconsciously created in our own mind.  Maybe they did something in the past that touched on one of our fears or insecurities.  Or maybe they didn’t do something that we expected them to do.  In either case, problems like these are not about the other person, they’re about us.

And that’s okay.  It simply means these little predicaments will be easier to solve.   We are, after all, in charge of our own decisions.  We get to decide whether we want to keep our head cluttered with events from the past, or instead open our minds to the positive realities unfolding in front of us.

All we need is the willingness to look at things a little differently – letting go of ‘what was’ and ‘what should have been,’ and instead focusing our energy on ‘what is’ and ‘what could be possible.’

5. Decisions driven by heavy emotion are typically misguided reactions rather than educated judgments.  These reactions are the byproduct of minimal amounts of conscious thought and primarily based on momentary ‘feelings’ instead of mindful awareness.

The best advice here is simple:  Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence.  Slow down and think things through before you make any life-changing decisions.

6.  one thing I persistently see holding smart people back is their own reluctance to accept an opportunity simply because they don’t think they’re ready.  In other words, they believe they require additional knowledge, skill, experience, etc. before they can aptly partake in the opportunity.  Sadly, this is the kind of thinking that stifles personal growth.

The truth is nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow emotionally and intellectually.  They force us to stretch ourselves and our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.  And when we don’t feel comfortable, we don’t feel ready.

Just remember that significant moments of opportunity for personal growth and development will come and go throughout your lifetime.  If you are looking to make positive changes in your life you will need to embrace these moments of opportunity even though you will never feel 100% ready for them.

WHAT IS A CHRISTIAN?

Are you one?   How do you or anyone else know?   Is it because you say you are one?  Is it because you attend church?  Is it because you read the Bible?

If you answered yes to any or some combination of the above, I'd have to disagree with you.  I believe there are three principles to being a Christian.


1.First of all, the Bible says that a Christian is someone who has found the way of life rather than the way of death. That way to life is found in Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

   Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). Notice that Jesus does not say he will show you the way. He says, "I am the way!"Do you sometimes feel as though you are lost and don't know where you are going? When you become a Christian, you have found the way of life.

2.Second, a Christian is someone who enjoys eternal life. He has a more full and complete life. Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).

   Life with Christ was not only God's original design for us; it is the way He intends for us to live today. That is what makes life with Christ abundant.

   And eternal life never ends. It goes beyond physical death--forever and ever.

   Do you have eternal life? You may say, "Well, I'm not sure."

   If I asked if you were married, would you say, "I think so"? Or suppose I asked if you are pregnant. Would you say, "A little bit"? Of course not! These are things you can be absolutely sure about.

3.Furthermore, a Christian is someone who has been born into God's family and therefore has become one of God's children. You say, "I thought everyone was a child of God. Isn't God the Father of all mankind?"

   According to the Bible, God is the Creator of all people but not the Father of all people. Many people don't even want him to be their Father.

   You become a member of God's family by being born into it. The Lord Jesus said, "Unless a man is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God" (John 3:3). What does that mean?

   When you and I were born into the human family, we had no choice about the matter. That's physical birth.

   But to become a child of the heavenly Father, you must have a spiritual birth. This happens when we repent of our sins and put our faith and trust in Jesus Christ.

   Every year we celebrate our physical birth with parties and gifts. But do you remember your second birth? If not, you must make a decision. Do you want to become a part of God's family by receiving Christ? The Bible says, "To all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God" (John 1:12).To sum.  We must LIVE the life and not just wear the label.   Do you?

The Night I had to shoot someone

The point in sharing the below  story is to show folks that I speak from first-hand experience when I share my views on the current hot button topic of gun control.  To be clear,  I support the 2nd amendment.  PERIOD!


After being awakened by a loud noise as someone came crashing  through my door, I reached for my weapon that was lying on the end table by the sofa where I had fallen asleep after another 17 hour workday. The person was holding a large knife.  Before he could get any closer (only about 10 feet) to me, I raised my weapon (Ruger P85 9mm) and double tapped (2 shots) at center mass of the man.  

As it turns out, He was wanted for various violent offenses in a string of  blitz attacks in the Baltimore area where I was living at the time.  On this night, He picked the wrong door to break through.

I am thankful that I had a weapon that night and had received  proper training & practice  in order to have the confidence to do what I needed to do to protect myself and my home.

Random CHRISTMAS thoughts

There are two Christmases  . the obvious first one is the celebration of Jesus birth.  The second being the more secular, yet traditional one. You know, Santa, Stockings,candy canes,  tree, glowing lights and such.  I enjoy and celebrate both.  Just so you know, doing so does not diminish or infringe on the other. They can and do coexist in many homes.  That said, this blog and other ones this month will focus on various aspects of the Christmases filled with facts (well known and odd) and opinions.

First I tackle the controversial   " Happy Holidays greeting. Personally. I have no problem with people who use it. After all, there are multiple holidays this time of year.. My issue arises when the word Christmas is banned.  Bottom Line, it's a matter of individual choice.  So, until next time,  MERRY CHRISTMAS!

TRY LOCAL's FIRST PLEASE

I  I would like to ask everyone to please consider doing your shopping with local businesses, especially those small ones.  Of course your personal budget must take priority, as well as item selection/availability, but please consider the local folks first.   What are the benefits you ask,  1. Help neighbors and friends keep their jobs, infuse money into the local economy.  You can also think "outside of the box" by looking at homemade items and or services to use as gifts or even personal use.  So please, at least consider local business before you  decide.  Your neighbor/friend will thank you!

SOUTHERN SAYINGS& MEANINGS

 A few southern based phrases or sayings followed by their meaning )in parenthesis). There are far too many to list here.  I would love to hear yours.

Barking up the wrong tree. (you are wrong)
Busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time. (very busy)
Caught with your pants down. (surprised and unprepared)
Don't bite off more than you can chew. (attempt what you can accomplish)
Don't let your mouth overload your tail. (talking too much)
Either fish or cut bait. (work or make way for those who will)
Every dog has  a few feas. (no one is perfect)
Fly off the handle. (angry and lashing out)
Go hog wild. (have a good time)
Got your feathers ruffled. (upset and pouting)
In high cotton. (rising up in society)
Mend fences. (settle differences)
HOLD YOUR HORSES- (be patient)
Scarce as hen's teeth. (no such thing)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA

Today, My mama is celebrating her 75th Birthday in Heaven.  You see, I lost her a few months ago. I miss her!    She was more than just a mother.  For much of my life, she was my best friend.  We had a lot of fun times, especially after my stroke when she came to Maryland to help me learn to live a different life, one with physical disabilities.  Things were not always perfect as we both were human.  However,  we always had one another's back.  I will make this short today because my heart is so heavy.

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY   MAMA!

FRAGILITY OF LIFE

 The passing of two old schoolmates and  friends have really hit home just how fragile and temporary our time on this earth really is.

   You see, I grew up with the paradigm that with the exception of accidents, people  didn't die before 60. Now there has now  been four (2 in two days) in the past  couple of weeks that I went to school with that have passed.  All under 60, most under 55.  All  for medical reasons.

With all of my medical challenges, past and present, these events have greatly reminded me of how fragile our time really is and how blessed I am to still be here.

 Honestly, it's very frightening at times because I have much unfinished business here on earth. I think maybe the lesson  to glean from these losses is that we need to live each minute as if it could be our last.
Make sure everyone we love,  KNOWS that and get " right with God" if you haven't already.
  I'm sure this is exactly what Jon, Tiny, Gale and John would tell us right now, if they could.

ENVY ... A POISON OF THE SOUL

"Aesop had a fable about two eagles, one envious of the other because the other could soar higher and more elegantly than he could. So the envious eagle would pluck his strongest feathers from his own body and shoot them as arrows, trying to wound or kill the other eagle. It was his own undoing, however. He could not hit the high flying eagle, and he was eventually grounded by his lack of feathers. Envy destroyed the eagle."²

Envy, greed, and jealousy are all related. They are not only destroyers of the soul, but also of our physical well-being. As Proverbs says, "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

And wasn't envy the cause of Satan's downfall? He was envious of God and wanted to be God himself; and look at the unbelievable mess he has gotten us into—or rather, look at the incredible mess we've gotten ourselves into because we have followed his  ways  instead of the ways of God. And how many of the atrocities that are happening in today's world are caused by the envy and greed for control by certain men who claim themselves to be leaders when, in fact, they are destroyers!

Envy is a destroyer. It will destroy you and me, too, if we allow it to do so. Like all of God's instructions, it is not without good reason that the  Word tells us to get rid of all envy, malice, jealousy and hatred. 

So, what have you or will you do to erase envy from your life?

CLASS ENVY or ??

In our system we work very hard to make sure everyone is equal at the starting line. We can't guarantee it, we're dealing with  human beings, but that's where our efforts have traditionally been, and should still be, focused

There is never, however, equality at the finish line, nor should there be for one good reason: everyone runs at a different pace. And those who run faster and harder, with more dedication and diligence, those who make a greater sacrifice and therefore a greater contribution are rewarded for that success. And that's the way it works.
Life is hard and, I might add, life is not fair. That's a truth about life we would all do well to learn. It is a truth for everyone, cutting across all racial and economic lines.  This is a lesson that every adult must learn if he or she is to grow emotionally and socially out of adolescence, and the sooner we learn it the better. Unfortunately, a group of seriously misguided leaders is telling an entire, volatile class of people that life should be fair for them, and if it isn't, then they're entitled. They're entitled to pay-backs and restitution, which can understandably and "justly" be taken by force if it won't be given to them.
As a concluding thought, I think we should begin calling class envy what it is. This angry and self-indulgent class envy is nothing more than plain, old fashioned, unadulterated coveting, people earnestly desiring that which does not belong to them. And when covetousness is encouraged, it inevitably leads to the next step, theft, taking by either force or stealth that which does not belong to you. It is not coveting to want to rise above your circumstances. It is coveting to want to take that which is not yours, which other people earned and worked for and sacrificed for and made a contribution to get.

POSITIVE or NEGATIVE attitude

some people are going to complain about everything. Nothing goes right in their life. Other people keep an even keel and look on the bright side. They don't get down. Maybe there's something to that whole glass-is-half-empty thing after all.

I personally don't really enjoy being around the negative. I don't ignore the problems happening in my life or other's, but I don't dwell on them, either. That way lies misery and ruin. As I look at the people I choose to do things with--people I like spending time with--I see that most of them are really positive people. Not annoyingly so, but still. People who like to keep a good, but realistic, view of the world.

I do think it's a lifestyle choice. But maybe I'm just too darned positive. How about you? Do you think a positive attitude is a choice?

MUST READS BY AGE 25

The following list  are books that, in my opinion, are great reads for a variety of stated reasons.  in no particular order;

1.      1984 by George Orwell –  still holds chief significance nearly 60 years after it was written in 1949. It is widely acclaimed for its haunting vision of an all-knowing government which uses pervasive, 24/7 surveillance tactics to manipulate all citizens of the populace.

2.      To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee – The story surveys the controversial issues of race and economic class in the 1930’s Deep South via a court case of a black man charged with the rape and abuse of a young white girl. It’s a moving tale that delivers a profound message about fighting for justice and against prejudice.

3.      Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess – A nightmarish vision of insane youth culture that depicts heart wrenching insight into the life of a disturbed adolescent. This novel will blow you away… leaving you breathless, livid, thrilled, and concerned.

4.      For Whom The Bell Tolls  by Ernest Hemingway – A short, powerful contemplation on death, ideology and the incredible brutality of war.

5.      The Rights of Man by Tom Paine – Written during the era of the French Revolution, this book was one of the first to introduce the concept of human rights from the standpoint of democracy.

6.      The Art of War by Sun Tzu – One of the oldest books on military strategy in the world. It’s easily the most successful written work on the mechanics of general strategy and business tactics.

7.      The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien – One of the greatest fictional stories ever told, and by far one of the most popular and influential written works in 20th-century literature. Once you pick up the first book, you’ll read them all.

8.      David Copperfield Charles Dickens – This is a tale that lingers on the topic of attaining and maintaining a disciplined heart as it relates to one’s emotional and moral life. Dickens states that we must learn to go against “the first mistaken impulse of the undisciplined heart.”

9.      Catch -22 by Joseph Heller – This book coined the self-titled term “catch-22” that is widely used in modern-day dialogue. As for the story, its message is clear: What’s commonly held to be good, may be bad… what is sensible, is nonsense. Its one of the greatest literary works of the 20th century.

10.   The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald – Set in the Jazz Age of the roaring 20’s, this book unravels a cautionary tale of the American dream. Specifically, the reader learns that a few good friends are far more important that a zillion acquaintances, and the drive created from the desire to have something is more valuable than actually having it.

11.   The Catcher in the Rye  by J.D. Salinger – This novel firmly stands as an icon for accurately representing the ups and downs of teen angst, defiance and rebellion. If nothing else, it serves as a reminder of the unpredictable teenage mindset.

12.   Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky – A smooth-flowing, captivating novel of a young man living in poverty who criminally succumbs to the desire for money, and the hefty phsychological impact this has on him and the people closest to him.

13.   The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli – This book does a great job at describing situations of power and statesmanship. From political and corporate power struggles to attaining advancement, influence and authority over others, Machiavelli’s observations apply.

14.   Lord of the Flies by William Golding – A powerful and alarming look at the possibilities for savagery in a lawless environment, where compassionate human reasoning is replaced by anarchistic, animal instinct.

SOME

Some - Consisting of a greater or less portion or sum; composed of a quantity or number which is not stated; -- used to express an indefinite


I thought I needed to remind folks of the existence and meaning of this simple, yet important word.  Why?   Well it seems that there are people that forget this word when they decide to stereotype groups of people.  I'll give a few examples followed by the truth.

•  Liberals are lazy.      WRONG      Some are, but not all.
• Conservatives only care about money.   WRONG    Some do  , but not all.
• Black males under 25 are thugs.    WRONG     Some are, but not all.
• Southerners are uneducated &/or ignorant.       WRONG   Some are, but not all.
• Divorced Dads are deadbeats.    WRONG    Someare, but not all.

  These are just a very few that I hear on a daily basis.   If folks would just place that little word in front of these statements, it would make it accurate and not be hurtful to those that get  stereotyped as something they are not!

RHONDA MY LOVE

On this date two years ago, the best thing to ever happen to me took place.  You see, at  2pm there was a knock at my front door.  I opened the inside door, leaving a tinted full glass outside door closed.  I could see out but no one could see in.  Standing there  was this vision of a woman I had only dreamed of before.  I looked into her beautiful green eyes and was  instantly mesmerized.  I recognized a look that had  to have caught my eye centuries ago, as there is no other  conclusion.   I stood there for a long time trying to catch my breath before I finally got my wits about me and invited her in.   We visited and chatted for an hour or so.  Later that evening we met up at a local eatery with many of our other friends.  While there, I could not take my eyes off of her.


    We continued to get to know one another, mostly long distance  until we were reunited physically in the fall of 2010 which then led to our reunion in Holy Matrimony in 2011.   Rhonda has made me happier than any one man deserves.  I praise God daily for bringing her back into my life.  I look forward to spending the rest of my life working to help her be happy as she surely  deserves that!  Below is a poem for my Sweetness.

A soft word like a spark of light,
Illuminates my soul
And as each sound goes deeper,
It's YOU that makes me whole

There is not one  corner, not one  dark place,
YOUR LOVE cannot fill
And if the world is causing waves,
It's your devotion that makes them still

And yes you always speak to me,
In sweet honesty and truth
Your caring heart keeps out the rain,
YOUR LOVE, the ultimate roof

So thank you my Love for being there,
For supporting me, my life
I'll do the same for you, you know,
My Beautiful, Darling Wife.

REFLECTIVE

Since I moved back  home to  Georgia  in October of 09,   10 of my friends have lost their mama's and three have lost their Dad.  My own mother was very ill in   December of 09.  On top of this, I've lost two of my high school class of 77 classmates in the past month.

All of this has really caused me to reflect on just how precious our loved ones are and just how little time we have with them.     I'm not sure if many of us actually realize this.

As a result, I invite,no, challenge you to join me in making  ALL of those we love and care about a priority in our life while we still have them here and available to  us.   This may mean  the swallowing of pride and putting petty  differences aside.  This does not mean it's an open invitation for them to hurt us,   I'm telling you though, if you ignore this opportunity because they've harmed you somehow and they move on, the hurt will be much greater.   Join me.   Please!

THOUGHTS on TEBOW

the Broncos QB appears to be THE  hot topic lately for a variety of reasons.  So I guess I'll throw in my two cents.   Folks are divided into 2 groups, those that love him  or dislike him.   Why?

• Dislike -    I've heard; too much attention, not really that good of a QB, wears his love of Christ "Loudly and some racial excuses.  There you have it.    There is a valid counterpoint for each of these "reasons, so they don't wash with me.
• Love -     His pride of being a Christian and/or actually living as one, he led a flopping team to the playoffs despite it being unconventional looking.

Synopsis   -   I think he is a great example for young people to look up to.  He works hard, openly cares about others, confident without being arrogant and is a perfect counter to other professional athletes in the news because, as example; dog fighting, woman beating, rape, drugs, shooting someone or themself or minor things like open arrogance and greed.   So to me, this should be a no-brainer to anyone that really thinks about it.   How about you?

Are YOU making a Difference?

Somewhere during  my lifetime (52 years)  it seems that many have either lost the ability or have simply chose to stop making a difference.    If you don't know what I'm talking about, then likely you are one of those.

There are many things someone could do to make a difference  but that is an individual choice and entirely up to you.     Something as simple as a smile or a hello to  someone could change  not only their day, but perhaps their life.      Other differences could come in the form of volunteering to help someone in need.  There are many organizations that have needs, as well as people in your community, perhaps your next door neighbor.
It becomes easy when you make being nice, mannerly & respectful  the norm to everyone.   I guess the key word here is "selfless"   If folks  would put others  NEEDS  in front of their desires, think of the difference they'd make in others.  So,   what Difference are you going to make today?

FAMILY EVOLUTION

The past 18 months has seen a huge  shift in my personal life.  Of course at the forefront was my rediscovering Rhonda and the subsequent relationship that has lead to our marriage.  Beyond that, there have been  huge shifts in other family.  The negative has been the estrangement of the  people I had thought were my  primary family members.  However, the addition has more than balanced that out.  I have gained  all of these  FANTASTIC people from Rhonda's family.  Additionally I have become much closer to my sisters in Kentucky  & their sweet families.
I guess the point in sharing this is to bring attention to the fact  Family often  evolves and for the better.  I am now surrounded by happy, positive people.  I  wish I could share this happiness with some of my estranged family  and hopefully one day that will happen.